“Per my last email”: A beginner’s guide to workplace side‑eye

There’s a moment most new starters recognise. You read a message that looks polite… but somehow leaves a faint sting.

“Just circling back…”
“As mentioned earlier…”
“Per my last email…”

Welcome to the gentle art of passive aggression – where frustration wears a suit and pretends it’s being helpful.

In traditional workplaces, you might escalate it. In gig work, freelance setups, or shaky contracts? Not so much. There’s no HR safety net, no quiet word with a manager. It’s just you, your inbox, and a growing sense that something’s off.

So how do you spot it?

• Politeness with a sharp edge (“just a reminder” that feels like a reprimand)
• Overly vague criticism (something’s wrong, but no one says what)
• Public nudges (looping others in unnecessarily to make a point)
• Delay tactics (slow replies, missed actions, quiet resistance)

It’s not always malicious. Often it’s people avoiding conflict or lacking better ways to say what they mean. But it can still chip away at your confidence – especially early on.

So what’s the Cappuccino Club nudge?

1. Stay literal. Respond to the words, not the tone. Keep it calm, clear, and slightly boring. Passive aggression struggles to survive in direct light.

2. Clarify early.
“Just to check – do you want me to do X or Y?”
You turn ambiguity into specifics. Much harder to hide behind vagueness.

3. Don’t mirror it.
Tempting as it is, don’t fire back with your own “per my previous…” You’ll just create a loop.

4. Keep receipts (quietly).
Not dramatic – just organised. Clarity is power, especially without formal protections.

Most importantly: don’t assume it’s personal.

Work is messy. People are inconsistent. And in today’s fractured workplace, good communication is rarer than it should be.

The real skill? Staying clear‑headed when others aren’t.

Smarter beats sharper.